- Boule, Deplora [pseud.].
The Narrative.
Seattle: CreateSpace, 2018.
ISBN 978-1-7171-6065-2.
-
When you regard the madness and serial hysterias possessing
the United States: this week “bathroom equality”,
the next tearing down statues, then Russians under every bed,
segueing into the right of military-age unaccompanied male
“refugees” to bring their cultural enrichment to
communities across the land, to proper pronouns for otherkin,
“ripping children” from the arms of their
illegal immigrant parents,
etc., etc., whacky etc., it all seems curiously co-ordinated:
the legacy media, on-line outlets, and the mouths of politicians
of the slaver persuasion all with the same “concerns”
and identical words, turning on a dime from one to the next.
It's like there's a narrative
they're being fed by somebody or -bodies unknown, which they parrot
incessantly until being handed the next talking point to download
into their birdbrains.
Could that really be what's going on, or is it some kind of
mass delusion which afflicts societies where an increasing
fraction of the population, “educated” in
government schools and
Gramsci-converged
higher education, knows nothing of history or the real world
and believes things with the fierce passion of ignorance which
are manifestly untrue? That's the mystery explored in this
savagely hilarious satirical novel.
Majedah Cantalupi-Abromavich-Flügel-Van Der Hoven-Taj Mahal
(who prefers you use her full name, but who henceforth I
shall refer to as “Majedah Etc.”) had become
the very model of a modern media mouthpiece. After reporting
on a Hate Crime at her exclusive women's college while pursuing
a journalism degree with practical studies in Social Change,
she is recruited as a junior on-air reporter by WPDQ, the
local affiliate of News 24/7, the preeminent news network
for good-thinkers like herself. Considering herself ready
for the challenge, if not over-qualified, she informs one
of her co-workers on the first day on the job,
I have a journalism degree from the most prestigious
woman's [sic] college in the United States—in
fact, in the whole world—and it is widely agreed
upon that I have an uncommon natural talent for spotting
news. … I am looking forward to teaming up
with you to uncover the countless, previously unexposed
Injustices in this town and get the truth out.
Her ambition had already aimed her sights higher than a small-
to mid-market affiliate: “Someday I'll work at News
24/7. I'll be Lead Reporter with my own Desk. Maybe I'll even
anchor my own prime time show someday!” But that required
the big break—covering a story that gets picked up by the
network in New York and broadcast world-wide with her face on
the screen and name on the
Chyron
below (perhaps scrolling, given its length). Unfortunately, the
metro Wycksburg beat tended more toward stories such as the
grand opening of a podiatry clinic than those which merit the
“BREAKING NEWS” banner and urgent sound clip on the
network.
The closest she could come to the Social Justice beat was
covering the demonstrations of the People's Organization for
Perpetual Outrage, known to her boss as “those twelve
kooks that run around town protesting everything”.
One day, en route to cover another especially unpromising
story, Majedah and her cameraman stumble onto a shocking
case of police brutality: a white officer ordering a woman
of colour to get down, then pushing her to the sidewalk
and jumping on top with his gun drawn. So compelling are
the images, she uploads the clip with her commentary
directly to the network's breaking news site for
affiliates. Within minutes it was on the network and
screens around the world with the coveted banner.
News 24/7 sends a camera crew and live satellite uplink to
Wycksburg to cover a follow-up protest by the Global Outrage
Organization, and Majedah gets hours of precious live feed
directly to the network. That very evening comes a job offer
to join the network reporting pool in New York. Mission
accomplished!—the road to the Big Apple and big time
seems to have opened.
But all may not be as it seems. That evening, the detested
Eagle Eye News, the jingoist network that climbed to the
top of the ratings by pandering to inbred gap-toothed
redneck bitter clingers and other quaint deplorables
who inhabit flyover country and frequent Web sites named
after rodentia and arthropoda, headlined a very different
take on the events of the day, with an exclusive interview
with the woman of colour from Majedah's reportage. Majedah
is devastated—she can see it all slipping away.
The next morning, hung-over, depressed, having
a nightmare of what her future might hold, she is
awakened by the dreaded call from New York. But to her
astonishment, the offer still stands. The network
producer reminds her that nobody who matters watches
Eagle Eye, and that her reportage of police brutality
and oppression of the marginalised remains
compelling. He reminds her, “you know that the
so-called truth can be quite subjective.”
The Associate Reporter Pool at News 24/7 might be
better likened to an aquarium stocked with the many
colourful and exotic species of millennials. There
is Mara, who identifies as a female centaur, Scout,
a transgender woman, Mysty, Candy, Ångström,
and Mohammed Al Kaboom
(né James Walker
Lang in Mill Valley), each with their own
pronouns (Ångström prefers
adjutant, 37, and blue).
Every morning the pool drains as its inhabitants, diverse
in identification and pronomenclature but of one mind
(if that term can be stretched to apply to them)
in their opinions, gather in the conference room for
the daily briefing by the Democratic National Committee,
with newsrooms, social media outlets, technology CEOs,
bloggers, and the rest of the progressive echo chamber
tuned in to receive the day's narrative and talking points.
On most days the top priority was the continuing effort
to discredit, obstruct, and eventually defeat the
detested Republican President Nelson, who only viewers
of Eagle Eye took seriously.
Out of the blue, a wild card is dealt into the presidential
race. Patty Clark, a black businesswoman from Wycksburg
who has turned her Jamaica Patty's restaurant into a booming
nationwide franchise empire, launches a primary challenge
to the incumbent president. Suddenly,
the narrative shifts: by promoting Clark, the opposition
can be split and Nelson weakened. Clark and Ms Etc have
a history that goes back to the latter's breakthrough story,
and she is granted priority access to the candidate
including an exclusive long-form interview immediately
after her announcement that ran in five segments over
a week. Suddenly Patty Clark's face was everywhere,
and with it, “Majedah Etc., reporting”.
What follows is a romp which would have seemed like the
purest fantasy prior to the U.S. presidential campaign
of 2016. As the campaign progresses and the madness
builds upon itself, it's as if Majedah's tether to
reality (or what remains of it in the United States)
is stretching ever tighter. Is there a limit, and if
so, what happens when it is reached?
The story is wickedly funny, filled with turns of phrase
such as, “Ångström now wishes to go
by the pronouns nut, 24, and gander” and
“Maher's Syndrome meant a lifetime of special needs:
intense unlikeability, intractable bitterness, close-set
beady eyes beneath an oversized forehead, and at best,
laboring at menial work such as janitorial duties or
hosting obscure talk shows on cable TV.”
The conclusion is as delicious as it is hopeful.
The Kindle edition is free for Kindle
Unlimited subscribers.
September 2018 