Eternal Damnation | Windows Software Development |
|---|
| Number TEN |
| It never ends. |
You think you're almost done,
but you never really finish. |
| Number NINE |
| You burn forever, but are not
consumed. |
Each update introduces new
and improved tortures, which
slowly consume you. |
| Number EIGHT |
| Your fate is in the hands of
Satan, Prince of Darkness. |
Your fate is in the hands of
Gates, Prince of Incompatibility. |
| Number SEVEN |
| Satan gives you something you
want in return for being damned. |
Gates makes you buy Windows 95. |
| Number SIX |
| It is avoidable; an attractive,
widely-marketed alternative is
available. |
Resistance is futile. All the
alternatives are damned or
doomed. |
| Number FIVE |
| It is free. |
You pay, and pay, and pay just
to stay in the game. |
| Number FOUR |
| Satan was once an angel. |
Gates started by writing a BASIC interpreter. |
| Number THREE |
| Hell has no Windows. |
Microsoft does. |
| Number TWO |
|
You only pass the Gates of Hell
one time. |
The Gates of Microsoft keeps
popping up everywhere you look. |
| AND NUMBER ONE: |
| Satan sincerely believes in the
triumph of Evil. |
Gates just does it for the money. |
